Summer

It's been about 13 weeks now since Haiyan had her foot surgery. She did really great and was able to get her cast off after 3 weeks. Even though she got around well with her cast, she was able to move much more freely with it off. She still uses her walker to get around when we're out, but mostly she just crawls around the house because it's faster. Or she hops on one foot. She's getting REALLY good at hopping on one foot; I've never seen anyone do it better! She hardly had any swelling, so she was able to get molded and measured for her prosthesis a couple weeks after having her cast removed. She was healing pretty quickly at first, so we thought she might be able to start wearing it 8-10 weeks after her surgery.

The doctors told us that she could take baths and go swimming, so we did a lot of that for a few weeks. We visited Indiana for the 4th of July, and I stayed the week, so that Haiyan and Joshua could meet all their Tanner cousins, who were all visiting Gary & Shelley that week. The girls had so much fun in the pool, and Haiyan really liked swimming. She wasn't at all scared the first time she went. They had fun playing at the Tanner's during the day and staying at my parents' at night.

The prosthetist had Haiyan's foot made in a couple weeks and we went to pick it up and try it on. We had talked to her a lot about seeing her new foot, so when the time came to see it, we could tell that she was really excited. But she sometimes withdrawals when she's really happy, and she kind of did that for awhile when she tried it on for the first time. She walked around a little, holding onto bars and people's hands. It was awkward though, because she hadn't put any weight on that leg for a long time. She wasn't really excited to put it on again right away, because she thought she could get around faster without it. So, we took it home, but she was not supposed to wear it regularly until her leg is fully healed.

So, now it's been 13 weeks, and she still has a small area that is not fully healed yet. It's getting smaller and smaller, but going VERY slowly. We stopped letting her sit in the bath or go swimming, because we thought that soaking in the water was setting it back. So, it's been really hard to have to stay away from the beach and pool for the past few weeks! She's been trying her foot on once in awhile and we let her walk around to get used to it. She loves wearing it now, because she knows that she can do so much more with it on! It's so hard not to let her wear it all the time though. One day this week, she put it on when she got dressed, and I felt so bad that I had to make her take it off.

So, we're praying that she will fully heal quickly so she can be more mobile. Lesley, the kids, and I went back to Indiana about a month ago to see my cousin Kim and her son Micah. They live in California, so it was so nice to be able to spend some time with them! And this week we went to the beach, I couldn't stay away any longer! I wrapped up Haiyan's leg, and it seemed to be okay. Also, there is a picture of Joshua eating cereal for the first time. Of course Elizabeth and Haiyan had to help feed him!

Post Surgery Update

Haiyan winks before surgery

Haiyan is doing very well.  Her surgery lasted about two hours.  The nurse said she woke up so nicely from surgery that we were able to get her earlier than expected.  They said she never cried (of course she was completely knocked out, but still...).

Right after surgery she was a bit out of it, but eventually started to be herself.  We put her in a wagon, pulled her to lunch, and then pulled her around the outside playground.  She really enjoyed the swing (I'll post a video of the swinging once I get back home).

We are so thankful for all of your prayers.  We are also very thankful for Shriner's Hospital.  It's hard for me even to believe a place like this exists.  

Haiyan's Surgery Tomorrow

James & I took Haiyan to Shriner's Hospital in Chicago this morning. She's spending the night there for her surgery tomorrow when she'll have her left foot amputated. James has explained to her what is going to happen and that she will be getting a new foot, so she's really excited. She was excited to pack her suitcase this morning and excited that she got to stay with Mommy and Daddy when we dropped off Elizabeth & Joshua with friends. We are so thankful to the Springers, who kept Joshua all day and the Walters, who kept Elizabeth.
Within a few minutes of getting settled in her room, we went to the snack cabinet, and she was really excited to be able to pick out her own snacks and drinks.
Shriner's Hospital is so great and they do a great job at making the kids feel comfortable. They have huge play areas inside and outside, and Haiyan would have stayed outside all day if she could have! Different doctors and nurses were in and out all day to check her out for her surgery tomorrow. She's healthy and ready to go tomorrow morning at 7:30am! 

Elizabeth, on the other hand, got sick at the Walter's and was running a temperature today! We don't know what was wrong with her, but she's feeling better tonight and doesn't have a temperature anymore. So, hopefully whatever she had isn't contagious! 

I got lost on the way home from the hospital. So after I picked up Elizabeth, we didn't end up getting home until 8pm. Lesley picked up Joshua after she got off work and brought him home. And my parents are here now from Indiana to watch the kids for the next couple days. So, I'm hoping that things go smoother tomorrow than they have today!

We're so thankful though, that Haiyan was feeling happy and comfortable today, because it's going to be a rough day tomorrow. James is staying with her tonight and I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 am tomorrow if I want to see her before she goes in for surgery.

Thanks so much for praying and thanks so much to our family and friends who are helping us out!

Easter time

The girls with Joshua. They like him to be in their room at night when we read their stories. Elizabeth has asked if he can sleep with her because he's "so cute".

At our church Easter Egg Hunt. The girls had a great time, and Haiyan really liked looking for eggs. Even more, she liked eating the candy. We eventually had to take the eggs from her so she would stop shoving jelly beans in her mouth.

We're finally settling into life with three kids! I'm feeling fine now from my surgery, and Joshua is on somewhat of a schedule. The girls love him and want to help with him. I'm getting used to taking all three kids out with me during the day. I thought it took a long time to run errands with Elizabeth; that was nothing compared to now!!
We have an update on Haiyan's foot too. We had our appointment with Shriner's Hospital about 3 weeks ago. The doctors that we saw agreed with the first surgeon; that Haiyan's "foot" should be amputated and that she should have a prosthetic foot. Everyone has agreed that the foot that she has is not functional and she does not have an ankle. They said that she could have surgeries to straighten the foot and lengthen the leg, but in the end, she will still not be able to walk/run easily. The hospital called a few days later to schedule her surgery, so the date is set for May 20.
We are very sad that she has to have an amputation, but at the same time, very happy that soon she will be able to do everything that other kids do. The brace that was made for her in China allows her to walk and kind of run, but it's very noticeable and it bends her foot inward, making her walk crooked. Since we've finally been able to play outside lately, she's been tripping a lot more when she tries to keep up with Elizabeth running down the sidewalk or in the yard. That breaks my heart to watch (even though she doesn't seem to mind!), so, I'm really looking forward to getting her a new foot. The doctors said that once she has her prosthesis, she'll be able to run like other kids and play any sport she wants, even soccer!
We are so thankful that Shriner's Hospital in right by us in Chicago and that they have taken Haiyan as a patient. They are the best hospital around dealing with pediatric prosthetics and everything they do is free! They don't even accept insurance. So, this is a huge answer to prayer that we were sent to Shriner's and that we now have a plan of how to help Haiyan with her disability.

Yes, We had our Baby!

We've been a little busy lately, so we have not been able to do any updates! Joshua James Tanner finally arrived on Wednesday, March 4 around 5:45 am. I went into labor, but ended up having to have an emergency c-section because of where his umbilical cord was. It was kind of scary for a little while, but then the surgery went very quickly and Joshua was born healthy and safe. We're so happy that everything ended up okay and that I went to the hospital when I did the night before. And we were thankful that my doctor was on call that night.
Joshua weighed 8 lbs, 2 oz, 20 1/2 in long, and had lots of dark hair.
He looks much like Elizabeth did when she was born, same dark hair and round face. So, we're wondering if his hair will eventually fall out and come in red like Elizabeth's did??






We were so thankful to have family here to help us with the girls while James & I stayed in the hospital. Jared & Lesley stayed with them when we left for the hospital on Tuesday night. Then my parents arrived in the middle of the night to take over so Lesley & Jared could go to work. Haiyan did great, which was a huge answer to prayer. I was really worried about how she would do with James & I being gone. She never cried when we left for the hospital, and when she woke to my parents being there the next morning, she didn't seem bothered at all. I was so glad, because the only time she had seen them was in the airport when she first arrived here from China. So, the girls had lots of fun with Grandma and Grandpa, and Haiyan followed Grandpa around a lot. They brought the girls to the hospital to see us every day and to see their new brother. They were really excited to finally meet him and be able to hold him!

James with Joshua.

Grandpa finally gets a boy!

The day after we came home from the hospital it was Haiyan's 3rd birthday. We celebrated with my family (luckily my mom and Lesley were here to help get gifts and throw the party together!) and James' parents came up too. Haiyan was happy to see them and remembered them from their trip to China. She was really excited for her cake and to sing "Happy Birthday" and to blow our her candles!

The next weekend, James' parents came back to visit, along with his sister Kathy and our nieces, Tanner and Taylor. Elizabeth was SO excited to play with her cousins from North Carolina, and we were excited for them to meet Haiyan and Joshua. We had a great time with them!

Baby Joshua is due today! But has not arrived yet.

Elizabeth "reading" to Haiyan.

Today was my due date, but baby Joshua has not shown up yet. I've been to the mall twice in the last 24 hours, hoping that walking around would speed things up! Elizabeth is excited for her baby brother to get here, but not sure that she wants me to have to stay in the hospital. But she is excited because she knows that when I go to the hospital that Lesley & Jared will stay with her right away, and that Grandma & Grandpa will be here as fast as they can drive from Indiana! James has explained the baby to Haiyan, but I'm not sure how much she really understands.

We're grateful though that we've been able to have so much time with Haiyan before the baby arrives. She's adjusting so well to our family, and we've seen a big improvement in her when she's around our friends and family too. We've been able to leave her and Elizabeth with Lesley & Jared a few times and she's only cried for about 5 minutes before calming down and having a good time. It's getting much easier to communicate with her too, because she's picking up so many English words. Our social worker was shocked when she visited 2 weeks ago and Haiyan put 3 English words together. She said that doesn't usually happen for a few months! So, we feel very grateful that God has given us a good transition, especially during this time at the end of my pregnancy when we're preparing for so many changes and my patience is getting very worn out!

We also found out a couple weeks ago that Haiyan was accepted into Shriner's hospital in Chicago. The surgeon that we originally saw got us in at the hospital; we never even had to fill out an application! This is the best place around for children with leg/foot deformities and they are up on the latest orthopedic technology. So, her first appointment is on 3/31.

Haiyan and Elizabeth are getting along great, it's so nice for Elizabeth to have someone to play with. Although they sometimes fight (we've had a few physical fights and a chopstick up the nose), they really love each other. They love to color, play in the kitchen, and play doctor. Elizabeth loves to "read" books to Haiyan and tell her things that she should be saying in English. Haiyan likes to repeat everything Elizabeth says. Haiyan often tells us that she loves us, and Elizabeth comments a lot that she's sure that Haiyan is so happy to have a family!

Behold the Power of Hannah Montana

One Week Home

The Tanner Family!

Haiyan & Elizabeth in their play kitchen. They love to cook!

James playing with Elizabeth & Haiyan. They love to play with balloons, and to climb all over James.

It's been a week now that James, Haiyan, and Elizabeth have been home. Jet lag seems to be over, and all have been sleeping through the night the past few nights. Elizabeth was really sick with digestive problems when they first arrived home, but that was gone by Monday. James was home from work all week, which has helped Haiyan as she gets used to being with me and living at our house. She still cries when he leaves the house and is with me only, but it usually only lasts about 15 minutes. She cried the first couple nights when we put her to bed, but now she really seems to like our bedtime ritual. She shares a room with Elizabeth, which Elizabeth was really happy about. For the past few months, Elizabeth had been wanting "a real person" to sleep in her room with her. They have fun waking up in the morning together and coloring or looking at books.

So far, we've been really surprised at how Haiyan has adjusted so well to our home and seems to be bonding with us. She has a really fun personality and she loves to laugh, sing, and dance. She has a good appetite and has eaten everything we've given her (Mexican, Italian, Chinese, American). She has a huge Chinese vocabulary, which James understands some of. And she's picking up English words quickly. She copies a lot of what we say, and it can be pretty funny. Like yesterday when Elizabeth was getting a time-out, Haiyan followed her to the chair saying "obey! time-out!".

She had her appointment at the International Adoption Clinic at Children's of WI today and it went really well. We met with doctors, a social worker, a psychologist, etc. and they said that she seems to be right on track developmentally. And her weight/height is even a little above average. We thought that she was doing fine, but it was good to have it confirmed by professionals. We also got her new shoes today that fit better, and they have already really improved her walking. She loved them and kept saying "pretty" and "thank you" in Chinese.

So, we think things are going really well. We've been able to stay home a lot this week, and I think that has helped her feel more settled and comfortable. Hopefully next week, we can have some friends over and let her start meeting people.

Home

I decided to try and post a video. I feel this video shows off Haiyan's personality. It also shows how active and busy she stays. Notice how she couldn't care less about the cartoon movie playing (Jungle Book).

Well, it's sure nice to be home! Haiyan is adjusting wonderfully and is beginning to bond with Amy. There have been so many answers to prayer and I will try to list some of the specifics soon. Thank you to those who have prayed for us. My faith has definitely been strengthened through all of this.

A brief story I've told to illustrate Haiyan's current adjustment. The first two nights when Haiyan had to go to bed were a bit nuts. When she heard the term "night-night", a term she learned with me in China, she would flip out. We have a going to bed ritual which consist of brushing teeth, a Bible story, prayer, and Amy singing three songs as well as a "Teddy Bear Teddy Bear" thing. Haiyan screamed through all of it two nights in a row. The third night, after brushing Haiyan's teeth, she secretly slipped away, sat on her bed, opened the Bible story book, and waited with a smile on her face. After the Bible story was read, she folded hands and waited for the prayer. After the prayer, she slipped into bed, pulled her covers up, and then extended her arms for a hug and kiss. When Amy hugged and kissed her and said she loved her, Haiyan repeated back a soft "I love you". Haiyan then went quietly to sleep. We were amazed to say the least.

Lastly, we visited a very talented orthopedic surgeon today for Haiyan's foot. We were led to him through Lesley's boss. What a great find! He spent over an hour with us discussing our options. At this point there are still quite a few unknowns and we would appreciate prayer for wisdom.

Thanks for all of your support. I sure enjoyed meeting with people at church this Sunday. I spent the entire time chatting and missed both services. I hope to catch the service next time.

-James

Flying Home!

James, the girls, and his parents have begun their long trip home. They're flying to Shanghai right now, then they have a layover, then the 13 hour flight back to Chicago. They're all very anxious to get home, and they should arrive around 4pm Thursday. I'm so excited to pick them up and meet Haiyan! My parents and Lesley & Jared are also coming to the airport with me.

It's been a long 2 weeks for both of us. For James, because he isn't used to taking care of the kids all day long, especially from a hotel. And for me, because I'm not used to it being so quiet around the house! I was able to get SO much done though, and I now feel ready for Haiyan and whenever baby Joshua decides to arrive. I'm SO grateful to my parents for coming last weekend and helping me get Joshua's room ready and to Lesley & Jared for all of their help while James was gone. And I am so thankful for my nice neighbors who have checked on me and shoveled snow, otherwise I never would have been able to leave my house last week! And for my friends who helped celebrate my birthday last week, and gave me a really fun baby/adoption shower!

-Amy

And More...

Really, I was just blinking and she has such a wonderful smile.


Posing in front of McDonalds.

Enjoying a sunday at McDonalds

Pop-pop feeding her noodles. I usually don't let others feed Haiyan, but this was pretty funny. She would eat the noodles and then laugh. Many of the noodls fell to the floor.

Elizabeth eating noodles her own way. They were a bit to spicy for her and she eventually had to stop because her lips were swelling.

Time for Some More Pictures

I just can't keep her from loving the princesses.

She loves her pop-pop so much.

It's a bit difficult eating this way.

It's a bit difficult eating this way.

You can see here how happy I am to know that nap time is coming.

God Gives My Heart's Desire!

With much prayer from many people God has given our heart's desire. I will be returning to America for my family to be together once again. What a relief! God has taught me so much through this experience as well as many others in the last two years. He has taught me to trust in him while He continues to be faithful. It is not my job to control everything. I am to work hard and strive for what is good, but to not strive for control. I have learned to desire and to petition God, but to be content and know that God is good.

Thanks for all of your prayers. What a wonderful and supportive community we have.

Need More Prayer!

This morning I was told that my immigration approval had the wrong name for Haiyan. It should have said Xu, Hai Yan, but actually said Hai Xu. This could be a show stopper that keeps me in China for another month. Please pray that the US consulate in China is understanding.

Short Update

Last night Elizabeth and Haiyan were playing. Haiyan bit Elizabeth on the butt. She actually punctured Elizabeth with two teeth... ouch! Haiyan that it was funny, Elizabeth was in pain, and I quickly put Haiyan in timeout. It was a bit funny, because they were both playing with a McDonald's toy; the lemur from Madagascar. We have watched that movie like 5 times thus far. Anyway, there are two lines in that movie that I kept thinking about: 1. "What's a bite on the butt amongst friends". 2. "he's going savage".

Finally an Update!!!

Well, the girls are playing together and I thought I would steal some time and blog for just a bit. Elizabeth is learning how to play without constraining Haiyan, and has been such a blessing throughout this trip. Elizabeth finally had her first blowout this morning. She sat in timeout for quite some time while I talked her through it. I was very impressed with her as she actually calmed herself down from a major fit. Good stuff! Haiyan quietly watched the action, it didn't seem to bother her. Haiyan also knows what "timeout" means, as she has been in it a number of times. When she misbehaves, she knows that the timeout chair is ready, and she usually quickly corrects. Again, good stuff! Haiyan throws a fit anytime she does not get her way. It can be the smallest of things, but she goes nuts like she's dying. Then she continues for about ten minutes. So, we'll take the bad with the good and work with it. She's already beginning to learn the "Tanner Tao". One may throw a fit, but the fit will get one nowhere.

I am learning that attachment is a two way street. I guess I had read and heard that before, but do not think it totally registered with me. Now that I am here and working with Haiyan and her fits, I have found love to be an unnatural choice at times, which affects my attachment to her. I have experienced a tighter attachment to her throughout the second week in China.

My parents have been such a blessing. They are always patient with me. And believe me I'm not the easiest to deal with when sleep deprived and after listening to screaming children all day. I think I drew a disappointed fatherly look from my father once when I snapped at one of the kind guides that was trying to help me (oops). They've taken all of the pictures and have documented the experience well. They have also been respectful of my parenting and have asked before acting with my children. It's been difficult for me to not have them feed, change, or hold Haiyan, but I believe it is the best thing for Haiyan in order mitigate parent confusion, but it sure wears me out.

It really may be a blessing for me to be here with Haiyan and without Amy as Haiyan has been primarily cared for by women. I think she will have no problem attaching to Amy.

A few things I have noticed Haiyan likes:
-anything Elizabeth does
-baths (with Elizabeth)
-reading/reading to others
-eating
-buns, rice, watermelon, congee, chocolate, cookies, and noodles
-coloring

A few things she does not like:
-American food (including pizza)
-liquid egg yolks (pretty vocal about this one)
-not getting her way
-timeout
-being messed with while sleeping (like me keeping her from falling off the bed)

Okay, I hope this has helped to share the experience. If you have any questions, then ask away and I will post.

Cheers from China,
James

James and the Girls

James has been really busy taking care of Haiyan and Elizabeth, so he hasn't had time to write much. I've been able to talk to them a couple times a day on Skype, and things seem to be going really well. Haiyan seems really comfortable now and has been really happy. They say that she's very kind and sharing, but that she is also very determined and stubborn. She talks a lot and is copying English words really well. They say that she watches Elizabeth and copies what she does. And it seems that Elizabeth was copying Haiyan too, because Shelley said that once when she was walking, Elizabeth was turning her foot and limping like Haiyan.
Haiyan is able to walk around really well. She has a make-shift prosthetic on her bad foot, that allows her to wear a shoe. Every time I've seen them on Skype, she seems to walk around without a problem.
James says that he thinks Haiyan was in a really great foster home, where she was 1 of 15 girls. She came to James straight from the foster home, which is a huge answer to prayer, because most children are moved to an orphanage a few weeks before their families come to get them. She had the same caretakers the entire time she was there, and they made a big scrapbook for her. It has baby photos in it and lots of writing about her life so far, and even Bible verses (so unusual for China!). This is a such a blessing, because most orphans in China don't bring any kind of history with them. There are photos of the home she was in, with verses written on some walls. So, we're so grateful that our prayers were answered and it looks like she has been in a great home with people who were truly watching out for her and loved her.
Tomorrow they fly to Guangzhou to finalize the adoption, have a medical exam, and do a lot of paperwork. We only have one more week before they fly home! I'm so anxious to see them. I think Haiyan is getting used to seeing me on Skype. She says Momma and smiles and waves whenever I see her!
-Amy

More Pictures from "Gotcha!" Day

Haiyan's caregiver spinning Haiyan:






Stickers bridging the gap:



Haiyan showing a smile:

Pictures from "Gotcha!" day.

Elizabeth playing at the beijing airport:




Waiting for our flight at the Beijing airport:




Haiyan and Elizabeth coloring while I fill out paper work, hand out money, and receiving receipts:

Gotcha!

Well I finally have found some time to blog. It's really quite difficult to find this time. I put Haiyan down for a nap, and Elizabeth went to hangout with pop-pop and grandma-Shelley. I titled this entry "Gotcha!", because that is what the day is called by all adoptive parents. This day will be celebrated every year by Amy and I as "Gotcha day".

When I first saw Haiyan I was excited, apprehensive, timid, confused, sad, and happy all at the same time. What makes my experience rare is that Haiyan was never given to the orphanage to wait for my arrival. Most children in foster homes are dropped off at the orphanage 1 to 4 weeks before the adoptive parents arrive in China. Because our notice to travel was so late, the foster home caregiver was present when I picked up Haiyan. I point this out as being important, because I was able to witness first hand the tearing away of Haiyan from her family. I thought long and hard last night of how I could briefly communicate this experience to those reading this blog and feel I have found the right words: I watched my daughter's heart break and it was I who triggered it's start. This statement brings to me the feeling I had while taking Haiyan from the room where the caregiver stood, turning around, and walking away with a child crying desperately.... mama mama. This is all I will say about the experience.

In the next entry, I will post some pictures that my father took. I hope it will not be long before I can post some video.

Thanks you for your continued prayers,
James

Bitterweet Good-bye

We left our house Friday, January 9th, 8:27 AM to catch the 12:30 PM international flight. It had already snowed three to four inches and it took one hour to drive six miles. I started to feel a flip-out timer inside my gut ticking down as the clock approached 9:30 AM. Fortunately, speeds quickened with proximity to O'hare. We arrived at the airport with two hours to spare, and check-in took very little time. A friend of mine, Lee, from work decided this past Monday to share four flight seat upgrades with me. When we checked in we found that all four upgrades went through, and we were again reminded how blessed we are to have such wonderful friends.


Saying goodbye was difficult is an understatement. Amy showed so much strength and I am very proud of her. She has worked so hard for all of this to happen, and she has stayed so very strong throughout all of the obstacles.